Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
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