we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
