i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
