Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
