went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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