i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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