Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
