at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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