This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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