It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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