you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
