omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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