people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
