I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize