i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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