Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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