you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
