watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
