i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
