dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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