I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
