Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
