Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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