I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
