I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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