I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
