Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
