Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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