i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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