thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
