In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize