I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
