you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
