i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
