Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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