Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
