Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
