apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Randomize
