Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
