also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
