come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
