1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I want to have your abortion
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
