If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
