I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
