her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
