Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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