I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
