i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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