She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Randomize
