I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
