hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
