Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
