***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
