Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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