Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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