i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
