if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
