Already got asked if we're dating
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
