This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
