my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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