You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize