I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Damn victory sex feels great
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
