Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
